Pie floater.

15 April 2005 at 18:45 (General)

I was less than a 1km down the road on the way to the bank this afternoon when I saw a magpie sitting in the opposite lane, facing the curb furthest from me.. I was probably nearing 40 clicks an hour and as I approached, the maggie took flight. He immediately did a sharp 180 and collided with the top of my front wheel. I suppose his belly bounced off my tire and he ricocheted up into my handle bars. His beak hit my index finger with force, it really hurt my finger and must of given him quite a headache later.

He continued his flight, sailing into someone’s font yard squawking and screeching probably in pain, but it was hard to tell. Maggies always sound like they’re in agony to me. I was busy regaining my balance and composure, by the time i decided I should have gone back to see if he was okay I was a couple hundred metres down the road. So like a cold heartless motorist I just continued on my way… I’m fairly sure he would have been okay, it didn’t seem too violent to me.

An hour and a half later I was coming back up the same road and near the collision site there was a girl in her font yard sharing a bag of chips with a couple dozen maggies. As much as I don’t like magpies, I hope he was okay.



  1. Kent said,

    or she

  2. toto said,

    why yes, you are so incredible. I would have never realised the error of my assumption that he could have been a she. Your intellect is astounding and your ability to find faults in such details is truly valuable. If only there were more people like you, scrutinising every sentence on the net, the world would be a better place.

    although, judging by it’s size, the sound of its call and it’s aggressive behaviour, I would say it’s a reasonable assumption to call the bird a male. Also, although it happened very fast, it was on the road for a long time before hand, and I remember it having a predominate white nape and back.

  3. Deirdre said,

    Settle, petal.

    If the bird flew away, there’s a pretty good chance it was okay, I’m thinking. Let’s hope so, anyway. Lucky you weren’t driving a car.

    I’m amazed there were so many magpies in one spot – maybe that feeding is a regular event. I can only remember seeing at most 4 or 5 together at once (and they were fighting), but maybe they just have more space here. They’re very intelligent birds too (they remember you after a while – J has a family of maggies who walk into her house to get something to eat) so if ever you’re repeating that ride and in the same location you suddenly get hit by a flying beak? Guess who it’ll be…

  4. Deirdre said,

    Your clock is wrong. It’s 1:54 here.

  5. R3P1N5 said,

    Maybe it is not his clock that is wrong, nor yours, but instead it is a problem with the rotation of the earth. Hold onto your seats.

  6. toto said,

    the petal settled :) – cheers.

    yeah, it’s 1:34 here, but it’s all relative. my clock is precisely correct for someone, somewhere. I was also amazed by the massive tiding of maggies, i thought it was abnormal for anywhere. I don’t know how anyone can cope with so many of the brutes, but then, I have a history of being a target.

  7. Kent said,

    well this venus flytrap petal wants a DUEL

  8. toto said,

    hahaha… Nothing better than dueling a venus flytrap ’cause they are so simple they can’t differentiate between an actual fly and a punk kid setting off their sensor time and time again.

    being a settled petal is part of my job description.

  9. Deirdre said,

    Duel? Huh? I hope no one was killed at dawn.

    I like the cut of your jib there, R3P1N5 (also I just like using that expression… sorry). If the rotation of the earth changes, do we all get flung out into space or something? I can’t even remember why it keeps spinning anyway. It’s strange we can’t use it as a source of energy in some way, if it’s in perpetual motion.

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